I don’t mean bugs or flying or public speaking or any of that trite stuff. I mean more like I don’t want to go to the animal shelter because I am afraid I will come home with six kittens, or I don’t want to pick up fast food because I’m afraid I will consume an entire large order of fries in the car before I get home. We all have weaknesses. I wish my weakness was something useful, like an exercise addiction or an obsession with cleaning. Instead, my natural inclination is to eat Oreos while looking at cat pictures on Instagram, which, sadly, ends up being the case more often than not. My self-control leaves something to be desired.
The first battle is recognizing the problem: know thyself. There’s lots of temptations in this world, which upon sampling, could potentially lead to an unwanted effect, like, oh, a 15-pound weight gain or a $15,000 credit card bill, if you have poor self-control. For many, the only solution is complete abstinence: no junk food in the house, no credit cards, no Facebook, period. Today I want to go there. Let’s talk about stuff you want to try, but don’t, for fear of losing control. And let’s get rad and branch out from skincare and makeup, although we’ll certainly start there. I’ll go first.
Tata Harper skincare – people literally rave about this brand. I fully admit that I deliberately don’t know anything about it except it’s expensive. I’ve avoided reading anything about on purpose. I do not need to get intimately involved with another high end skincare line.
May Lindstrom skincare – this line is what sparked the idea for this post. People rave about this brand too, but ouch! These are crazy prices. Note: while perusing the linked website, it appears they sell sample sizes of ML products for two bucks a pop. Aw, shit. Game on.
High end lip balms (like Rodin, Chantecaille, Sisley, Tatcha, and so forth) – I am such a lip balm whore, I can see myself getting totally hooked on a $75 lip balm. Yes, SEVENTY-FIVE US DOLLARS. For ONE unit, not a pack of twelve. So I’ve never tried any of them, in fear I would fall hopelessly in love and feel compelled to spend $500 to ensure I had one in each purse plus a backup. (I have a serious lip balm problem. I get anxious if I am without. I thank the sweet baby Jesus every day for Cococare lip balm, because at $1.50 a pop I can order them in bulk. Which I do. Which means each purse gets at least two, along with every nook and cranny in my house and office so I am never without. Which means this is basically the most exciting thing ever. I even put it on my Amazon wish list.) My dabbling in the high end lip balm arena started and ended with La Mer. It is so glorious, you want to smear it all over every fifteen minutes. It’s also embarrassingly expensive, so I feel compelled to limit its use to before bed only. And that sort of takes the fun out of it.
High end body oils (like Rodin, Nars, Tom Ford, and so forth) – I’m sure these smell decadent and make your skin radiant. However, if you’re truly using something like this as a body oil, you’ve got a lot of acreage to cover. Well. At least I do. Think how fast you could crank through a $100 bottle of this stuff. As much as I want to smell them all, I won’t, and will stick with my trusty almond oil.
High end lingerie (like Agent Provocateur, La Perla, and the like) – you’ve heard women say that their entire attitude changes when they have beautiful underwear on under their everyday clothes. Is this true? Am I such a cranky bitch solely because of the $4 Coobie knockoffs that I get at the trashiest mall in the city? This fear is two-fold; first, not unlike lip balm, with underwear, one needs multiples. How many $300 bras and $100 panties can one person really purchase? Second, underwear is not like an expensive cashmere sweater. You can’t coax multiple wearings out of it followed by a light hand washing in the sink. Yet, pricey underwear is a delicate flower. The idea of washing underwear by hand is, to me, at once amusing and horrifying, yet the idea of discovering that your boyfriend ruined $500 worth of underwear with one well-meaning load of laundry is even worse.
Designer furniture (like this Eames lounge chair ) – Okay. This would basically look amazing in my midcentury modern house. However, it would have cat hair stuck in its crevices and little nail marks in the leather faster than you can utter the words “investment piece”. That I could (almost) live with. The problem with this sexy beast of a chair is that it would instantly create waaaaaay too much obvious contrast between it and the rest of my furnishings*, which were pieced together hodgepodge from junk shops, salvage yards, and eBay. It could go from “modern industrial rustic chic” to “dorm room” real fast.
And, since we’re crazy today, let’s go for it. The most notably feared item I lust after is this completely absurd Mercedes SUV. I have a bit of a car fetish. I like fast cars, and I like cars that are big enough to haul steel cabinets purchased at flea markets (see above). I do not want more than one car, so finding one that meets both criteria is challenging. The Jeep Cherokee SRT could have potential, but it is just butt ugly. I love Jeeps — my first car was a CJ5 — but I can’t. I suppose I could upgrade from my current X3 to a M-series X5, but do I really want to continue the close relationship I’ve developed with my service advisor over the past 4 years of BMW ownership? What I need to do is just go take the Mercedes for a test drive and get it out of my system, because I suspect it drives like a squishy couch, which I despise. (One online review even said that it was “terrifying” to drive, which could be an amazing or horrible thing, right?) BUT…. what if it’s stiff and tight and fast? Oh, I’d be screwed, because then I would fall in love with it and be obsessed with it, and then I would have to move to a tiny apartment and eat Ramen just so I could afford it. Or maybe I could just live out of the back of it. Hmmm…….
So tell me! What are you intrigued by, but afraid to try?
*my swank-o-rama couch is excluded from this blanket statement, because it is amazing. Yeah, I’m crazy.